Chicago Escorts: Get Laid! Queer citizen Tim Miller discusses the ‘Lay of the Land’

As I do the Lord’s work trying to undo homophobiaseriouslyI often call on my animal spirit guides. Since I do a ton of university gigs all over the country as I throw my luggage together for my college engagements, I often imagine that all the animal mascots of these institutions of higher learning I work at are gathering to help me. Just as the mice and birds in Cinderella’s Disney garret pimp her up for the ball, I visualize the animal mascots of the upper Midwest preparing me. I see Illinois State University’s Reggie Redbird getting in on the Disney action and dressing me in my so-out-they-are-in cargo pants that I have had to sleep in on the nasty carpet at O’Hare during many airport snowstorms. I see University of Minnesota’s Goldy Gopher, with his scary teeth, pulling my roller bag out of the closet. I see Northwestern University’s Willie Wildcat fluffing my naturally curly hair, I see Wisconsin’s Bucky Badgerthe sexiest of all the masc …

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